It is the age old question, “How do I stop my child from throwing temper tantrums?” And no matter what anyone has told you, it’s not an easy thing to do.

At the most basic level, a temper tantrum in a young child, the age of one or two, trying to control his or her world. Babies learn as soon as they are born that crying gets them what they want – attention, food, held, a diaper change ect. As a child grows and begins to learn to talk they need to be encouraged to use their words instead of crying, screaming or throwing a tantrum. At one or two a child is not able to completely express what they want with words. They need help from you, this is where you would encourage the child to use their words, encouraging them means telling them or giving them an example of what to say. For example you could say, “Jimmy please use your words instead of screaming, mommy can’t tell what you want unless you use your words.” “Do you need me to get something for you?” “Did your brother take your toy?” ect. Let the child know that all he needs to do is tell you what he needs or wants and you can help him.

Of course, as a child gets older and still throws tantrums it is no longer that they don’t know exactly how to express themselves with words. It now becomes a power struggle to get what they want.

When temper tantrums are used to get ones way there are different ways to handle this situation. The best is to turn around and walk away. When the child sees that he no longer has your attention it takes the power away from him. He’s not going to get anything out of a tantrum if no one is there to watch.

When a child is throwing these tantrums they are old enough to understand consequences. Giving into a tantrum shows them that a consequence of a tantrum is them getting what the want – a reward. When you walk away form them during a tantrum or ignore them – you are teaching them the consequence that throwing a tantrum gets them nothing – no reward.

Stopping temper tantrums is a process – most of the time a long process. An important tip is to stay consistent in how you handle yourself. Always respond the same way – so the child learns there is only one consequence of throwing tantrums. If you go back and forth and give in to the tantrum they will never learn that tantrums are unacceptable.

Lisa McKennon writes on early childhood concerns and other related issues. You can learn more by visiting my blog, Early Childhood Concerns http://earlychildhoodconcerns.blogspot.com

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